Wedding | Ruth & Oli

Tell us a little about yourselves!

We’re Ruth and Oli. We both grew up in the UK, Oli in the Peak District and Ruth in Surrey and we met during our first year of uni 12 years ago. We have lived all over the place including Stockholm, Copenhagen, the Isles of Scilly and Vancouver but London has been our home since 2018. We currently live in Camberwell, South East London.

After 10 years together Oli asked Ruth to marry him during a winter trip to the French Alps in January 2023.

Why did you decide to get married where you did?

We are both obsessed with the Romney Marsh in Kent. Ruth’s childhood was spent visiting her Granny in Hythe and her uncle in his railway carriage house in Dungeness. 

I visited Port Lympne a lot as a child. For the animals, yes, but also for the 1920s Manor House that is home to the most beautiful hand painted jungle wallpaper. My Dad would sneak us into the house so I could stare at the wallpaper in the various rooms. I took Oli to Port Lympne for the first time in 2018 and he fell in love with it too. We sat out on one of the terraces with a glass of wine looking over the marsh and both said, ‘We would love to get married here one day’.  Fast forward six years and we did just that. 

Port Lympne is run by the Aspinall Foundation who carry out incredible animal conservation work. Their mission is to save endangered animals and return them to the wild.

We love weddings that take you on a bit of a journey, so we were keen to incorporate this into our own, and Port Lympne was the perfect place to do so. We decided to get married at St Stephen’s in Lympne which is a beautiful marsh church. We then travelled two minutes down the road to Port Lympne where we had our drinks reception in the jungle painted rooms and spilled out onto the terrace overlooking the very sunny Romney Marsh - it was such a clear day you could see France. We went on a pre-dinner safari - why not!? Before heading down to the beautiful khaki draped orangery for dinner and the party. At the end of the night our guests staggered back to Bear Lodge which is Port Lympne’s amazing safari style accommodation.

How many guests did you have?

106.

What was your budget?

25K. Did we stick to it? No. No we did not.

Tell us about your outfits.

Oli is very into tailoring. I wanted a beautiful suit that had a slight mid-century twist. I went for a double breasted, martini-cut, black suit by Dolce and Gabbana. It’s a timeless suit that I will wear for years and years to come. I paired it with a printed Liberty tie in browns and blues and a pair of Our Legacy black ankle boots. I was less into the idea of buttonholes so decided to source vintage brooches for me and my groomsmen/women to wear instead. I opted to cluster two brooches together on my own lapel. 

The dress. 

I knew I wanted it to be fashion forward and have a slight nod to my love of ballet and dance. After months of scrolling online I couldn’t find anything that felt like ‘me’ so I was about to start looking at non-wedding wedding dresses… and then I found WED. 

WED was founded by designers Amy Trinh and Evan Phillips and has become known for its ‘rebellious and visionary take on bridalwear’. I was drawn to the beautiful craftsmanship of their pieces, particularly the draping of fabric. I chose their Corset Tie dress that had a flared corset and voluminous, draped bubble skirt complete with side slit and ribbon tie detailing. My three best friends were with me at the appointment, and we had a very giddy lunch afterwards. It was a unanimous decision that I had found ‘the one’. 

I paired the dress with WED’s two tier classic veil and a pair of white Miu Miu satin pumps with a flared heel. I kept my jewellery simple and wore a pair of Alighieri gold earrings that Oli’s parents gave me as a thirtieth birthday present. I wore my Granny’s engagement ring stacked with my mum’s herringbone ring she received on her 18th birthday.  

I carried the Simone Rocha egg bag that Oli and his sisters gifted me during our rehearsal lunch the day before the wedding. I only took it off to walk down the aisle and for our first dance. As it was October I bought myself a brown faux leather trench coat from Stine Goya, but the weather was so spectacular I only wore it for about five minutes.

What was the most important aspect for you, in terms of planning your wedding?

It was so important that our creativity led the planning of the wedding so that the celebration was a true reflection of us as a couple. It was also important to us that we planned the whole thing together as a team, naturally one of us would take the lead on various aspects but we spoke and discussed nearly every detail together.

Were there any elements that were important for you to incorporate?

So many. 

Music is so important to us; it’s one of the main reasons we fell for each other when we first met. We spent days thinking about the music. Every single song was meticulously planned for different parts of the day, they were songs that have soundtracked our lives and that we will now treasure forever. Ruth walked down the aisle to Nina Simone’s version of Here Comes the Sun, Johnny Flynn’s Detectorists played just as we stepped up to make our vows, we signed the register to Shine on your Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd and we left the church to Shiny Happy People by REM. Oli found our wedding band Alive (a Brighton based indie band) after weeks of research. They played three sets for us in the evening that included all our favourite indie songs, and they were unbelievable. 

The small details were also super important to us - we had so much fun planning them - from the stationary Ruth designed (think shiny silver order of services) to the Just Married adorned Ford KA we drove away from the Church in. 

Oli loves a good ale, so we managed to transport casks of beer from his favourite brewery, Abbeydale in Sheffield, down to Kent. We set up a pour your own pint station, which was such a hit.

Ruth’s cousin Rebecca did three paintings of different birds that mate for life for us that we gave to each guest as a limited edition print on their place setting. 

Ruth and her mum planted terracotta pots for each table inspired by the beautiful foliage and herbs found on nearby Dungeness - think Derick Jarman’s Garden. Ruth’s Aunty Rachel lives on the Scilly Isles and bought boxes of succulents from the island, so we had a bit of Tresco with us during the day - she beautifully decorated the church windows and drinks tables with them. 

We had a wedding scent burning throughout the day and now when we light the candles at home it always takes us back. 

For our wedding invites we recreated the Fleetwood Mac Rumours album cover, we (slightly madly) decided to recreate ten more for the table names and roped our close friends and family in to do it - it went down a treat and we’ve framed and displayed them in our flat. They ranged from Pink Floyd and Oasis to Bruce Springsteen and S Club 7.

We didn’t want a wedding cake so instead came up with the idea of a cake buffet - close friends and family baked various cakes, and instead of pudding everyone grabbed a slice and milled around eating, drinking beer and listening to the bands acoustic set. The centerpiece was a ton of cheese that was displayed on a beautiful cake stand Oli’s Dad made for us with a bucket of Ruth’s Mum’s famous spiced apple chutney as an accompaniment.  

The first dance. Ruth is a keen dancer, so we knew we had to pull something good off. We surprised everyone by Irish dancing. Ruth Irish danced for years back in the day so taught Oli the basic steps. Our guests erupted when Oli started reeling - it was the absolute highlight of the day and got everyone on the dance floor!

Any tips for couples getting married?

If the small details are important to you then don’t listen to people that say no one notices them. They will make you smile on the day and are such a good way to make it truly authentic to you.

Get excited for the ceremony. We think it can get a little forgotten sometimes, but it was the best 45 minutes of our lives. 

Be present and enjoy the whole day. Trust your suppliers and venue, hand over the reins to them – they will make your day amazing.

Are there any vendors that you would like to tell us a little more about?

Carr + Senteno – Our amazing photographer. Rachel captured the day so beautifully. We are both a little bit shy when it comes to posed photos and from our first meeting with Rachel, she put our minds at rest that we wouldn’t need to worry about feeling uncomfortable at any point on the day. The most important thing to us was that the small details that we so enjoyed planning were captured, and she did it so well. We feel unbelievably lucky that we have such amazing photographs to keep and remind us of the best day. 

Nadia Harper and Julia Marsh, Ruth’s Make Up Artist and hairstylist. To put it simply - I have never felt more beautiful in my life.

Samantha Connolly of Greensleeves florist produced the gorgeous flowers. Ruth and her bridesmaids’ bouquets were made up of pale blue delphiniums and these also featured in the pedestal on the altar at the church. I don’t cry much but I burst into tears when I saw them at the church during the rehearsal – they were just so beautiful! 

Our venue, Port Lympne – we worked with Annie at Port Lympne for a year and a half leading up to the wedding. The immense amount of detail she went into was unbelievable and truly meant that from the moment we arrived on site the day before the wedding we didn’t need to worry about a thing. The Port Lympne staff were amazing with our friends and family and went above and beyond to make sure the day was fun and relaxing for all. We can’t thank Annie and the Port Lympne team enough for giving us the most beautiful wedding weekend. 

Photographer: Carr + Senteno @carrandsenteno | Flora: Greensleeves @Greensleeves.redhill | Videographer: Edit Your Wedding @edityourwedding | Ceremony Location: St Stephen’s Church, Lympne | Reception Location: Port Lympne @portlympneweddings | Hire: (Tablecloths) Truffle tablescapes @truffletablescapes | Makeup: Nadia Harper @nadiaharpermua | Hair: Julia Marsh @notanotherstylist | Entertainment: Alive @alivebanduk | Beverages: Abbeydale Brewery @abbeydalebeers | Dress & Veil: WED @Wedstudio_ | Suit: Dolce & Gabbana @Dolcegabbana | Tie: Liberty London @Libertylondon | Shirt: Thomas Pink @pinkshirtmaker | Wedding Rings: Paul James @pauljamesjewellers | Shoes: (Bride) Miu Miu  @miumiu & (Grooms) Our Legacy @ourlegacy | Handbag:  Simone Rocha @Simonerocha_ | Earrings: Alighieri Jewellery @alighieri_jewellery