Wedding | Jeffrey & Ryan

The Anti-Bride
14 hours ago
7 min read

Tell us a little about yourselves!

We started dating several years ago, after meeting through the dance world. Jeffrey, born and raised in Wolcott Connecticut, is in the creative field, working as a choreographer and competition dance studio owner. I am a self-employed Interior Designer as well as a visual merchandising leader for Pottery Barn and spent my childhood growing up in the same small town.

We later bought our first home in town and completely renovated and transformed it. Jeffrey ended up proposing to me in that very house that we built together. Got down on one knee in our kitchen with our dog by his side, it was the perfect proposal. It was so special for it to be in our home where we have built our lives together and plan to grow our family. It was one of the most special memories and we get to be reminded of this moment every time we step into our kitchen.

I have always been wedding obsessed. I used to plan my wedding details out on Microsoft Paint in the second grade, and I would make mood boards with my best friend and maid of honor Kelsey. We would plan out every detail of the day. So naturally when I got engaged, I had lots of ideas and went down the bridal rabbit hole. Jeffrey is the more organized half of our relationship, while I have a bit more of a free spirit. He managed to turn my wild ideas into reality durning the wedding planning process. Jeffrey balances my energy, and our wedding is the perfect representation of our ability to collaborate and turn our dreams into reality together.

Why did you decide to get married where you did?

We have such a connection to Italy as we had traveled there together and fell in love with the history and charm that only Italy has to offer. We knew how much our friends and family would love Tuscany and most of our guests had not experienced it yet, so it was the perfect way to give our guests a once in a lifetime memory in such a beautiful place.

Once we found Villa Michaela, we knew it was where we had to get married, it had the perfect amount of authentic charm. As we walked through the property and stumbled upon the vine covered archway, we immediately pictured the perfect alfresco dinning area for our wedding. We could envision beautiful chandeliers strung from the vines and a long table to host our friends and family. When we walked into the sixteenth century chapel on the Villa’s property, we were sold. Marble checkered floors, stained glass windows and charm that could not be replicated. We knew in that moment we had to get married in that chapel.

We truly fell in love with the character and charm of the property and every choice we made during the wedding planning process was to enhance the villa’s uniqueness.

How many guests did you have?

We hosted 35 of our close friends and family who all stayed at Villa Michaela for the wedding weekend. It was important for us to keep the guest list small as we wanted it to feel like an intimate gathering. We were able to connect and make organic conversation with all our guests throughout the night and that was exactly what we had hoped for when we decided on a small wedding.

Tell us about your outfits.

"What you wear is how you present yourself to the world, especially today, when human contacts are so quick. Fashion is instant language." -Carrie Bradshaw

I’m not afraid to be a little daring when it comes to fashion. I’ve been known to wear sequins to the grocery store, but on my wedding day I knew I wanted to be able to look back at our wedding and feel like it was timeless.The authentic Tuscan backdrop set the perfect tone with its quirky charm and truly timeless feel. I knew I wanted that same feeling when it came it our outfits.

When sourcing wedding inspiration I was very drawn to 90’s romantic comedy movies, similar to the wedding from Father of the Bride. When I stumbled upon a 90’s Vera Wang veil while shopping with my mom at a vintage bridal shop, I had to have it. It ended up being the jumping off point for everything else I chose. Everything had to work with the veil!

My personal style is a bit daring I love a mix of old and new and I’m not afraid of an out of the box accessory. I have always been fashion obsessed and always picking up vintage pieces to add to my closet, I don’t think an outfit is complete without a vintage touch.

I could not imagine being married in something that wasn’t vintage; I wouldn’t feel like myself. I paired my Vera Wang veil with a custom handmade Italian sink hat to really make it my own. Once I had secured the veil, my fashion wheels were turning. I knew I wanted to contrast the soft elements of the veil with something more structured. I came across the perfect tuxedo from Khaite, a New York City based company. It was the perfect silhouette with its exaggerated shoulder pads and pleated flair pants. After a few alterations, like custom fabric covered buttons, it was the perfect combination to contrast the veil with the tuxedo's clean lines and exaggerated structure.

I even sourced a vintage Ocsar de la Renta tuxedo shirt to pair with my look; it was the perfect addition with the ruffle detail. It was actually featured in the iconic gay prom episode of Sex and The City, worn by Carrie’s prom date Stanford Blatch.

Jeffrey wanted to go for a classic look as well. While being inspired by the Italian setting, of course a custom-tailored Gucci tuxedo was the answer. He even found vintage Gucci cufflinks to tie his look together.

This thread of classic and timeless elements helped us make every choice for our wedding.

What was the most important aspect for you, in terms of planning your wedding?

We both love to host, so for us we were extremely focused on our guests’ experience. We went out of our way to make sure they had an over the top, once in a lifetime experience. Whether it was selecting the perfect food or music, we really wanted every detail to feel curated and thoughtful for our guests. We even got a gelato cart. We wanted everyone to be able to let loose and have a good time, and I think we accomplished just that.

Were there any elements that were important for you to incorporate?

I have dreamt of my wedding for many years and always imagined the classic wedding details. When it came time to plan our wedding, we wanted to incorporate these traditional elements as well as adding a modern flair.

Our focus was to have a unique take on a traditional wedding. Being queer, we are a very nontraditional couple. So having elements of a traditional wedding for an untraditional couple helped make our wedding feel even more unique.

A good example of this would be getting married in a chapel, which is about as traditional as you can get. We are not religious, but we loved the idea of this old-world chapel hosting a gay wedding. This juxtaposition is exactly what our wedding was about.

I also wore all white and even a veil, like a real life bride. It was always my childhood dream to walk down the aisle in all white. To fold in these elements from a traditional wedding into our very gay wedding, helped make it feel distinctly us. You might even say we are the non-traditional traditionalist?

Any tips for couples getting married?

I would say that no matter how much work you put into every single detail, your favorite parts will end up being the ones you didn’t plan.

You can agonize over what color napkins to choose or what flowers you want, but your standout memories will be the things that happened organically.

One of our favorite moments from our wedding was the bells ringing from the church in the village. It’s a tradition that when someone is getting married, they ring the church bells in celebration. The bells rang as we walked down the aisle and even as we exited the chapel. It was the most perfect detail on our wedding day, and it wasn’t even something we planned. I think it’s such a metaphor for wedding planning that you can plan and plan and plan, but the best parts of your day will be the things that just happen, the things you can’t plan.

Are there any vendors that you would like to tell us a little more about?

We were so lucky to have worked with all our amazing vendors. Our wedding planner Giulia Bernini really went above and beyond in helping our vision come to life. She put us in contact with some truly remarkable people like Rebel Rebel, the florists who did an incredible job.

We wanted to give a special thank you to our amazing photographer Agata, from Couplet Photography, who truly photographed this day in the most spectacular way. These pictures are beyond what I could have ever imagined. What she captured on our wedding day was a feeling of joy found throughout all the pictures. She was more than just a photographer, she became my support system on such an important day in our lives, and she helped us enjoy our special day. These photos are magic, thank you.

Photographer: Couplet Photography @couplet.photo | Planning: Giulia Bernini @giuliabernini_wp | Flora: Rebel Rebel Italia @rebelrebelitalia | Videographer: Pete Fielding @peteonfilm | Ceremony & Reception Location: Villa Michaela @villa.michaela.tuscany | Celebrant: Stefano Mordivoglia @stefanoweddingcelebrant | Rentals: Noleggio Attrezzature Eventi @ag_sistema | Catering & Beverages: White Dog @whitedogpoggibonsi & Brind Apino @brindapino | Stationery: Handmade by grooms | Entertainment: Trio Italiano Show @trio_italiano_show & Reigns @thisisreigns | Illustrator:

Inna Baran @Inna_illustrator | Tuxedos: Gucci (Jeff) @gucci & (Ryan) Khaite @khaite_ny | Veil: Happy Isles