Wedding | Abby & Ken

Tell us a little about yourselves! 

Ken is from San Diego, CA, and Abby is from a small town in mid-Michigan. We met on Tinder in October 2018. Abby likes to boast that despite meeting on the world’s most infamous “hook-up” app, we are Not Like Other Tinder Couples. Her reasoning? Ken was the first (and last) person she ever agreed to meet off a dating app––thank you to red wine and bold friends. Ken, unfortunately, cannot relate. Ken was studying law, and Abby was finishing up her undergraduate degrees––both at the University of Michigan. 

In total, we’ve known each other for almost 7 years, and have been together for about 6.5 of them. During our time together, we’ve lived in 5 different cities (Ann Arbor, San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles, and now, New York City). 

Ken is an attorney. Abby works in Public Relations. We have a dog named Dizzy, whom we love very much (and who we were incredibly sad couldn’t join us in California for our wedding festivities). 

Why did you decide to get married where you did?

For us, California feels very much like home. Ken grew up there, and it was the first place Abby lived after college. We also fell in real, true love there after we both ended up in San Francisco post-graduation and reunited for good (a long, but ultimately, sublimely happy story).  

It was important to Ken to ask one of the judges he clerked for to marry us. Asking Judge Dana M. Sabraw made sense for many reasons. We also both deeply respect Judge Sabraw and view him as one of the kindest, most honorable people we know, so we were incredibly pleased that he agreed to officiate, and it was the first step in our wedding planning process. 

As for the reception venue, Ken was born and raised in San Diego and spent his childhood going to The LaFayette Hotel for pool days. On one of Abby’s first trips home with him, they got to see the hotel before the renovations. Even then, she thought it was magical. 

Admittedly, we were a bit nervous when the hotel was purchased and closed for renovations––especially when we found out the Red Fox Room would no longer occupy the restaurant space attached to The LaFayette Hotel. We gave it a shot, though, and visited Quixote (the Oaxacan-inspired Mexican restaurant that took its place) shortly after it opened. When we walked out of that first dinner, we turned to each other, and both said, “Could be a good place for a wedding…” Important to note, we were not yet engaged. 

After Ken proposed in November 2024, we quickly realized that doing a small civil ceremony and celebration first made the most sense for us. Once we realized both things were possible––a courthouse ceremony presided over by someone we both really respect and a fun mini-celebration with our close friends and family at our dream venue––the pieces just fell into place. 

Because most of our friends would be coming in from out of state for the ceremony and reception, we decided to tack on a few extra days post-wedding. When we both still lived in California, we’d spent some time in Palm Springs at the Ace Hotel & Pool Club. It felt like the perfect, low-stress place to invite everyone to come to relax by the pool with us. 

So that’s really how it all came together. The Judge. The reception venue. And a desire to vibe out in the desert with our friends after all the formal festivities. 

Tell us about your outfits.

Abby is a lover of vintage and thought that their smaller ceremony and reception was a fun opportunity to highlight her appreciation of vintage pieces. Both her courthouse outfit and her reception dress were vintage. 

Her courthouse outfit, a two-piece suit jacket and skirt set, was ordered on eBay. She actually tried on the jacket at a vintage bridal shop in New York City, but they didn’t have the matching skirt. Some online sleuthing turned up the full set with the tags still on them in exactly her size. It’s 1990s Adrianna Papell. Fun fact: despite being the first thing wedding-related she purchased, Abby only decided the week of to wear the suit for the ceremony.

For her reception dress, she went to another vintage dress shop, Cha Cha Linda Vintage. She had the best time playing dress up with Eva, Cha Cha Linda’s owner, and ultimately landed on a golden long-sleeve 1980s-era Carolina Herrera dress. It was pretty much the opposite of what she thought she wanted, but something about its clean lines and airiness felt so relaxed and so her. She had it altered by Jennifer at Sew Catskills, who also helped source a new ribbon and moved a longer version of the bow to the back to accompany the dress’s train. 

The venue made red feel like an organic choice for a pop of color, so that helped drive a lot of the accessory selections. Both her bag and earrings were also purchased on eBay. The birdcage veil she wore during the ceremony was purchased on Etsy (and nearly caused a nervous breakdown while she tried to pin it in for the first time 15 minutes before leaving for the courthouse). The gloves that Abby wore during the ceremony were crocheted by her great-great-aunt, Kathleen. Her grandmother, Audrey, wore them during her own wedding to Abby’s grandfather. Her bracelet, sapphires and gold, was Abby’s something borrowed and blue from her mom.

Because we were celebrating in October in San Diego, we had to think carefully about Ken’s suit fabric and color. We decided to do a brown linen, which we thought would work well with anything Abby would end up wearing, wouldn’t be too hot, and could work well in the courthouse and celebration afterwards. We designed it together at Suit Supply. His shirt was from Todd Snyder, his tie was from J. Crew, and his loafers were from Meermin. His watch, a Longines, was a gift from his mom for his law school graduation. 

What was the most important aspect for you, in terms of planning your wedding?

For us, it was all about intentionality and keeping it low stress. The benefit of keeping our ceremony and reception small was that we’d get to maximize the time we spent with the people we love and minimize the stress (and costs) of a traditional wedding day. And because there were so many people we love and care about who wouldn’t be there with us, we felt it was critical to prioritize activities that ensured we had time to really connect with the people who were there, introduce them to one another, and make memories that would last a lifetime. 

We also wanted to ensure we had time on the day of to spend fully present with each other. We spent the night before and morning of together, drinking coffee in bed and the giant clawfoot tub in our hotel room. Then we went to the diner at the LaFayette Hotel and read our private vows to each other over eggs and more coffee. We’re really each other’s best friends, so having this time together to relax, laugh, cry, and caffeinate was crucial to us both. 

Outside of the general vibe and our officiant, photography was a non-negotiable for us both. We ended up with a shorter engagement and didn’t have time to get engagement photos taken, so our wedding was really the first time we’d get to have someone help document our love. Abby stumbled on Ashley’s work at Ash Gabes Photography on Instagram and immediately fell in love. When the timing worked out perfectly for her, our officiant, and our venue, it felt like fate––especially since it was so close to the 7-year anniversary of our first date. 

Were there any elements that were important for you to incorporate?

As mentioned, Judge Sabraw officiating our wedding was hugely important to us both. It was an incredible honor to have him welcome us, our family, and our friends into his chambers for the ceremony. And he surprised us afterwards with an impromptu reception and toast. It’s something that we really treasure!

Outside of the people and the energy we wanted to curate, everything else really came together pretty quickly and last-minute. 

We decided a week or two before the ceremony that we wanted to do a bouquet, boutonniere, and corsages for our moms. We worked with Native Poppy, a neighborhood shop we’d popped into several times while living in and visiting San Diego, for a simple design with red calla lilies. A few days before the ceremony, we also decided to order a cake. We placed a quick order from another spot nearby, Babycakes. 

As a fun touch, the two of us decided to order matching custom engraved Zippo lighters from Tony’s Trenchart. Tony designed them and had them overnighted to us in San Diego, so they made it in time for the celebration. 

Lastly, being able to extend the trip to go to Palm Springs to eat, drink, and be merry with our friends was truly a huge blessing and really turned it from the best day of our lives to the best weekend of our lives. Highly recommend a drive out to the desert after your wedding to drink pina coladas by the pool, martinis at Melvyn’s, and beers at a karaoke bar. 

Any tips for couples getting married?

Do what feels right for you. Prioritize the people. Don’t sweat the small stuff. 

Photography: Ash Gabes @ashgabes_photography| Reception Dress: Cha Cha Linda Vintage @chachalindavtg | Groom’s Suit: Suit Supply @suitsupply | Flowers: Native Poppy @native_poppy | Cake: Babycakes @babycakessandiego | Engagement & Wedding Rings:  Gold Point @goldpointbk | Zippo Lighters: Tony’s Trenchart @tonystrenchart