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Real Wedding | Phoebe & Trevor

Tell us a little about yourselves!

Trevor and I have been great friends for nearly 10 years. 

Trevor is incredibly present in every aspect of my life. He has this incredible superpower to make people feel seen and heard. And it's not in the way he listens, but it's in the way he assures. He is patient and kind, and somehow has enough love leftover to pour into each and every person around him. 

Trevor looks at me like I am sunshine. He makes my heart feel so full it could burst. He has stood by my side through every single one of life’s challenges, and has done so with a steady hand and big arms to wrap around me. He shows me small acts of love and kindness every morning and night, acting like each day is no different than the very first.

I remember our first date. He took me to a Chinese restaurant in our college town. He was a regular, and I’ll never forget the look on his face when the host brought out a side of dumplings – on the house. That same day, he told me he loved me. And the crazy thing – I had barely known him, and I said it right back.

I remember when he got his first real job. He was taking the CPA while commuting from San Francisco to Palo Alto. He had this shit hole of a car that he loved more than anything. The handle broke off, and the window didn’t work, and once we nearly broke down with smoke coming out of the back. I thought for sure we’d catch on fire. 

I remember living in his sister’s apartment. We slept on her twin bed stacked over a pile of wooden crates. She had the coolest place with a view overlooking San Francisco that made you forget you were in the middle of the Tenderloin. 

I also remember the apartment shortly after that. We slept on rented bed sheets that had the print of a tiger’s face on them. There were community showers, linoleum floors, and way, way too many roaches.

And New York. Oh New York. The first city I ever felt was mine. Our tiny railroad apartment changed my life. It’s where we beat covid. It’s where friends became family. It’s where we went to the courthouse over two years ago to become Domestic Partners. New York is hard to love sometimes. If not for the rats and the $25 cocktails. It can wear down even the best of us. But once in a while you find yourself staring at the city’s skyline, and stumbling into a place that reminds you why you fell in love all those years ago.

Trevor and I have created an amazing life together. He has taught me how to stand still. To put my phone down at the table. To not give away the ending of a movie. And that despite my deepest cravings for the hottest, newest thing – a $30 watch and a $300 watch tell the same time.

Why did you decide to get married where you did?

In April of 2022, Trevor quit his job to start his own accounting firm. I watched him pour so much love, energy, and care into his work, his team, and his clients. During that time, we decided to become Domestic Partners – and went to the New York County Courthouse to make it official. 

When we got married in May of 2024, it only felt right to go back to the same Courthouse that brought us so much joy the first time around.

This time, hand-in-hand, we brought our immediate families. My dad paced back and forth down the hallway, waiting for our number to be called. My mom took photos on her iPhone 7, and despite me asking her not to zoom in, I saw her little fingers pinch away at the screen. Trevor’s parents, my in-laws Jill and Mike, sat patiently, quietly, smiling ear-to-ear – just like him.

How many guests did you have?

It was just us, and 11 guests. Mom, dad, my little brother; Trevor’s parents and gorgeous twin sisters; and two of my aunts and uncles, who have helped shape me into the woman that I am today.

What was your budget?

Trevor, my number-crunching husband, helped us plan a beautiful, intimate celebration that felt magazine-worthy, but for a fraction of the price.

Tell us about your outfits.

My mom and my grandma used to take me back-to-school shopping. We’d make a weekend out of it, stopping into stores to try on clothes in-between stopping into restaurants for fried food and bar snacks. Eating was always more fun for me.

I remember trying on clothes in the dressing room as my mom would say to the sales associate, “if she loves it, you’ll know – because she’ll dance around the room.” And it’s so true. 

I never pictured myself in a white wedding dress. I always felt the most alive when I wore bright, bold colors – and would show the world just how proud and happy I felt by shimmy-ing down the hall.

On my wedding day, I chose the biggest, boldest, brightest shade of yellow I could find. I was sitting in my living room when I came across the dress – designed by Greta Constantine from her Spring 2024 collection – and jumped up. There it was. 28 week lead time.

I called half a dozen vendors in Europe to see if they could rush order something in time for my wedding – in just 6 weeks. They directed me to Wardrobe Apparel in Toronto who made magic happen. Sunday, I call; they answer; they place an order for a dress to arrive from Italy, through Canadian customs, to my doorstep, in just 5 weeks. They showed me the royal treatment, with daily updates and words of affirmation, assuring I had nothing to worry about.

The dress is a piece of art – with pockets! It’s fun, it’s comfortable, it’s colorful, it’s everything I was hoping to be on my wedding day.

And well, Trevor chose his suit well before I had my dress (naturally). I didn’t / don’t trust his eye for style, but thankfully Trevor has some pretty amazing friends who helped him find the perfect suit, tailor-made for his body. He looked sharp. He looked comfortable. He looked like the best version of himself.

What was the most important aspect for you, in terms of planning your wedding?

It had to feel like us. 

We’re in our late 20s, so we’re going to a lot of weddings. Our calendars are booked; our travel is planned. And no matter the place or the people saying ‘I do’, our favorite part is always the food. 

Trevor didn’t want anything too fancy, and I didn’t want to poke my fork through a bland dish of mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli. We opted for something we both love: breakfast. And if you’re in New York on a Saturday at 1 pm, there’s only one place to go: Golden Diner.

We served tuna melts, pancakes, and fried chicken, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Dare I say it was my Carrie Bradshaw moment – Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever ours.

Were there any elements that were important for you to incorporate?

Speeches! Who doesn’t love a good speech?

The night before our wedding, Trevor and I stood up in front of our families, and shared what an impact each person has made on our lives. 

Trevor started with his mom. He said, “My mom,” and immediately got choked up. That’s it. Two words! There was not a dry eye in the house as he shared words of gratitude and affirmation for his family. I followed with my little brother – the glue to my household and the center of my world. He’s been through a lot, and it was important for me to share what a profound impact he’s had on my life.

After Trevor and I ran out of tissues, we invited family members to say some words about us. And one-by-one, each person recalled a favorite memory from the last 8 years.

Any tips for couples getting married?

Make it about you. Your mom will forgive you for not re-wearing her wedding dress. Your dad will stop nagging about the boss or the friend or the second-cousin-twice-removed that you didn’t invite. Your neighbors, and your aunties, and even your best friends will still feel just as excited for you – for whatever you choose to do.

So make it about you. Wear the yellow dress. Order the fried chicken. Do you, honey.

Are there any vendors that you would like to tell us a little more about?

I would be remiss to not mention the wonderful, talented, endearing duo, Kindred

From the moment we became engaged, I knew I needed a good plate of food and wonderful people to help capture our first moments as husband and wife. Elle and Zach allowed us to feel relaxed and supported during every moment of our wedding day.

They effortlessly capture people's lives and love stories. They are storytellers first, and two people with cameras second. Their work is fluid, honest, and gripping with emotion. But as someone that has been lucky enough to witness them in action, they genuinely love what they do.

Elle smiles back at Zach as she snaps a photo of Trevor and I. Zach reminds Trevor to take his stuffed-to-the-brim wallet out of his front left pocket. They help you dodge oncoming traffic. They remind you that humor and heart are two great equalizers.

For anyone that wants anything remotely close to the day Trevor and I had, there’s only one place to start: Zach and Elle from Kindred.

Photographer:  Kindred @kindredweddings | Brunch Reception: Golden Diner

@goldendinerny | Drinks: Chelsea Hotel @hotelchelsea | Yellow Dress: Greta Constantine @gretaconstantine sourced by Wardrobe Apparel @wdrobe_apparel | Second Dress: Bevza @bevza | Shoes: The Row @therow | Suit: Suit Supply @suitsupply | Engagement Ring: Rare Colors @rarecolors_ | Jewellery: borrowed from Phoebe’s mother


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