Writing your own Wedding Vows.

I googled how to write vows the evening before my wedding, as I had no idea where to start. At the end of the day there is no right and wrong and it's just about expressing yourself in a genuine way. However, here are some pointers if you're stuck.

1. It is good to roughly discuss these things with your partner though -

  • How long will the vows be? (Just so one of you isn't keeping it short and sweet and the other is talking for 10 minutes.)

  • Will you share inside jokes or would you rather keep things more generic? (Humour all the day, let's be honest.)

  • Do you want to incorporate elements of traditional or religious vows into your own?

2. Get in the zone.

Like anything you need to be in the right mind frame. Probably best not done straight after an argument or when you're stressed out. Get yourself in the lovey dovey space and jot down your first draft.

3. A few things you may want to add.

You may want to mention what you are looking forward to most in your marriage, and what promises you want to make to your spouse.

4. Rewrite them a couple of times.

Go back and reread what you wrote after a few days. It's perfectly ok to do this a couple of times. However stop after any more times than that. Don't be overly critical and perfectionistic. The main thing is that your write your genuine thoughts and feelings.

5. Don't leave it until the last minute.

In theory. In practice most couples do this the night before because your brain is in overdrive with 5000 other things before your wedding. But good on you if you've done yours a few weeks out.

6. Put in 'I love you'.

Seems obvious, but it may be forgotten in all the poetry. (Kidding.)

7. Tell your partner you'll be there for the crappy times too (and mention them.)

Relationships aren't always easy and a walk in the park. Make sure to include something about the less than Hollywood moments too.

8. Make promises...

These can be as serious and/or as lighthearted as you wish.

9. ..but don't be unrealistic.

Again, this doesn't mean your vows need to be heavy or depressing. It's ok to say you'll love your partner even when they're a pain in the a@#. Try to avoid words like always and never.

10. Keep it concise.

You won't be able to include every thought, promise, feeling and story. Try to stick to a few minutes if you can.

11. Acknowledge that you can be a royal pain too.

Yep, life.

12. It's ok to include some personal things too.

Just don't got overboard - especially if you're saying your vows in front of 100 people and they have no idea what you're talking about.

13. Include humour.

Especially if that's normally how you express yourself.

14. Google, if necessary.

It's completely fine to look up examples of vows. Probably best not to do a direct copy and paste though.

15. Read your vows out loud.

And get used to hearing the sound of your own voice when you see your wedding video....

16. Write your vows on a nice piece of paper.

Ideally write them neatly so you can read them again in future.

17. Keep your vows secret from your partner.

There is something really special about hearing your vows during the ceremony for the first time.

18. Good luck x.


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